It was hard to read that Vadim was captured by the KGB and was subjected to physical and psychological torture. Dan is wounded psychologically because he believes that he has lost Vadim forever, and the staged execution and so the length of time before they can freed Vadim from prison.
Vadim loses his feelings and it takes a long time before he gets his original feelings back, he runs away when he can not find out himselves.
Dan misunderstand this as a goodbye and that Vadim hate him, he flees also and are being sent out in suicide missions and go to bed with others.
Both are thinking of suicide in their own way, they have lost their soul and have been hurt so much that it takes a long time before they find each other again.
Dan finds himself some friends and they are also his sex friends, but his love is and always will be Vadim. His friends are a support when he most needed it, as he did not think life is worth living and have given up everything.
Two years in hell for both of them and a half years of hurting each other before they get so far with communicate and talk to each other again.
The trip to Thailand did they finally found each other's souls again, Vadim and Dan finds out that their love is still there and that they would kill each other if one of them would ever run again.
I do not hate Dan for what he does all react differently when they have been exposed to trauma, both Vadim and Dan makes through hell, their reaction is very different through their trauma.
What confused me the most is their relation to Hooch, Jean and Matt. First of all the hatred Vadim has to Dan's friends and later how he had a sexual relationship with them and become friends with them.
Dan / Vadim / Hooch - Dan / Vadim / Jean - Dan / Vadim / Matt
Dan / whores
Hooch is a younger version of Dan and Jean a younger version of Vadim, Hooch and Jean are more relaxed and happy without all the wounds that Dan and Vadim has both on their soul and physical.
Their common friends is ultimately friends as they are attracted physically and an understanding of each other without the deep and emotional relationship, friends with understanding without demanding anything in return.
Vadim doubt very much himself, Dan also doubt himself.
Their misunderstandings hurt them both very much and to see them cry, their love for each other and their struggle to find each other again.
Thailand is the right place to find peace and love again, their familiarity and understanding for each other, their sorrows, anger, hatred and peace of mind, they are soulmates and can not live without each other and would rather commit suicide than break their promises to each other.
Dan will make every effort to understand and help Vadim through his healing on the mind and consciousness, he calls vadim's doctor and get guidance to help Vadim and support him.
Jean is fascinated by Dan and in the beginning you think he will destroy Dan and vadim's relationship, but he helps them and protect them, Vadim can tolerate Jean and have him as a friend. But you never know quite where you are Jean and this is Vadim aware off.
Hooch and Matt can Vadim better have a closer friendship with and also know that they will not go over their limit with Dan.
Vadim and Dan have many downs and only finally get their highs, you need to have your handkerchiefs ready, because you will cry over all their sorrows and tears of joy when they finally find each others soul again.
This book will catch you, intense with emotions and all that Dan and Vadim going through.
It is psychologically interesting when you get through trauma with Dan and Vadim, see how their actions and feelings, their reactions to two and a half years of suffering, change and transform Dan and Vadim.
They are older and have more experience and one should never underestimate those dangerous opponent with or without weapons, killers and hard men, but also people who have feelings, laugh and cry, need support and be in the moment.
There is also embarrassing situations that make you laugh, sorrows that make you sad and then eventually to see them get back together and you breathe a sigh of relief.
I am very pleased to read further on Dan's and vadim's lives and all their ups and downs, to see their further development and understanding of each other and hopefully their wedding.
Hope that others will be interested in your books, I will certainly read your books, you've caught me in your net and I am very pleased to read your intense and powerful people not to underestimate as opponents and do not wish to have as enemy.